Adorable?

For Christmas my sibs and I scanned a bunch of my parents' slides that have been stowed away in our basement for years.
Props to my sister's legs, brothers' BYU jerseys, my squinty sun smile, mom's visor, brother's flat top.

I AM A Hypocrite

I AM a hypocrite.

I'm wearing leggings right now.

But I am not even slightly under the impression that I'm wearing pants.

I Love My Job

But I realize I'm probably a bad teacher.
1. My students call the holidays, birthday and Christmas "Happy Birthday" and "Merry Christmas" respectively. Like they'll say, "When is your Happy Birthday?" and "Are you excited for Merry Christmas?" and I don't correct them because I think it's adorable. There are other things too that they say and I don't necessarily correct them even though they probably wish I would if they knew.
2. Lately I've been making my students listen to "grammar raps" that are part of our grammar workbook. I couldn't bring myself to subjecting them to this for the first few months of teaching, but recently I gave in. I just sit by the side and shake my head and feel sorry for the situation. But actually some of the students even seem to enjoy them. So maybe that's not considered abuse?
3. I'm thoroughly entertained by the gifts my students give me. I don't think this makes me a bad teacher, though. I think it makes me very happy and entertained; and in turn it probably actually makes me a better teacher. As a Thanksgiving gift one of my tiny Vietnamese students gave me an Elizabeth Taylor White Diamonds set (perfume, lotion, powder?) 2 days ago a student brought me a fruitcake. I thought that was only a joke. I didn't think people actually gave each other Christmas fruitcakes. A student yesterday gave me a copy of the Book of Mormon as a Christmas gift. I was a bit confused at first. Did I do something to lead her to believe I wasn't Mormon? I mean, I'm definitely careful about what I'll talk about in school. Initially I tried to tell her that I already have that book, but she was so excited. Then I realized that she'd written her testimony in the front cover for me in her broken English and my heart melted and I graciously accepted her gift. One of my Russian students, in the excitement of all the holiday cheer, told me that 2009 would be my year to find true love. Wonderful.
I love my job.
I love Russians.
And I love everyone who reads my blog.

Elephants!!!

I have so many elephants left over from the Beehive Bazaar. Well, maybe 10? It was barely worth it to do that bazaar. Too many tightwads in Provo. Best to do something cheap and easy and fast that people will buy up. But anyway, I know my elephants are cute. And I have some leftovers. And people have been asking if they could buy some, so if you want to buy from me, now is the time. They'll be going FAST. Maybe soon I'll post some pictures up of what I have left. But maybe I'll let a few special people choose their elephants first. I don't know. Probably just I'm lazy. Anyway. I'm selling them for $20 and they're cute & soft and I think they're pretty much all general neutral, which I like and the buttons for the eyes are so tiny that it won't kill your babies.
BUY!
NOW!
if you want to.

Leggings Are NOT Pants.

Leggings are NOT pants.

How Is It Possible...

That the world's saddest song could make me feel so happy??

Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never
coming round
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to
the sound of my tears
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best
of all the years have gone by
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see
the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart

Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit restless and I dream of
something wild
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I'm lying
like a child in your arms
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit angry and I know I've
got to get out and cry
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit terrified but then I see
the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

INSTRUMENTAL

Turnaround bright eyes
Turnaround bright eyes
Turnaround, Every now and then I know you'll never be the boy you always
wanted to be
Turnaround, Every now then I know you'll always be the only boy who
wanted me the way that I am
Turnaround, Every now and then I know there's no one in the universe as
magical and wonderous as you
Turnaround, Every now and then I know there's nothing any better and there's
nothing that I just wouldn't do
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
Nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

Pilgrim Party Pooper

Turns out I have much more in common with these people than I thought. Pretty much I'm a modern day pilgrim.

I've never been a huge fan of T-giving. I don't hate it. I think it's fine. But it doesn't thrill me. Maybe you'll hate me for saying this, but I recently realized that the reason I don't care too much for it is that it's too gluttonous for me. I love the idea of setting aside a day every year (or more often would be even better) to focus on the things you're thankful for; a day to spend quality time with family. I love that aspect of it. But I struggle with the gross over indulgence. I mean, I don't think it's evil or horrible or anything. But it just doesn't appeal to me. Why can't we do something healthy or active while we're giving thanks? I know. It's because of tradition. And I think that's great. I'm crazy about traditions.

But this year I learnt something new about the p-grims. Turns out they had similar sentiments to mine. I was reading a history of the first t-giving with my students earlier this week. I learnt for the first time that the p-grims were actually very hesitant to indulge in the feast. It seemed to wasteful and gluttonous to those pious witholders! Those party animal indians had to talk those p-grims into that feast! Those p-grims thought their time and resources would be better spent working or worshipping, not shoving their faces full of turkeys and lobsters. But that did not mean that they weren't grateful. They were probably incredibly grateful. They just didn't know if that was the best way to celebrate it.

So this T-giving holiday I realized that as well as being a pioneer, I am also a p-grim. And the rest of you lazy, gluttonous sad sacks were more inspired by the green corn dance festival of the nateevs. But who am I to judge? I don't judge. I'm a pilgrim. We don't do that. We're too good and pure to do that.

The Gas By My Work

Is now down to $1.84!!! I love it! It feels like we're back in the 90s.

And speaking of the 90s, I woke up this morning at 6:00 am with the distinctly sad feeling that I won't be alive to see the next 90s, the 2090s. For some reason, my 6:00 am logic determined that the next 90s would be similar to the last 90s, and I was way bummed out that I wouldn't be alive to see the grunge movement of the new millennium. I know it makes no sense.

Thank You, Beyonce Knowles

All the single ladies
All the single ladies
All the single ladies
All the single ladies
All the single ladies
All the single ladies
All the single ladies

Now put your hands up
Up in the club, we just broke up
I’m doing my own little thing
Decided to dip but now you wanna trip
Cuz another brother noticed me
I’m up on him, he up on me
dont pay him any attention
cried my tears, for three good years
Ya can’t be mad at me

[Chorus]
Cuz if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it
Don’t be mad once you see that he want it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it


(Chorus)
I got gloss on my lips, a man on my hips
Got me tighter than my Dereon jeans
acting up, drink in my cup
I could care less what you think
I need no permission, did I mention
Dont pay him any attention
Cuz you had your turn
But now you gonna learn
What it really feels like to miss me

(Chorus)

Don’t treat me to the things of this world
I’m not that kind of girl
Your love is what I prefer, what I deserve
Is a man that makes me, then takes me
And delivers me to a destiny, to infinity and beyond
Pull me into your arms
Say I’m the one you want
If you don’t, you’ll be alone
And like a ghost I’ll be gone

All the single ladies (7x)
Now put your hands up

And One More Thing...

I just wanted to share this:

TODAY IS THE DAY!!!

That we get fancy cable!! And a dvr!!! So just let us know what you want recorded. And you can come watch tv shows with us. Don't expect to see me or Michelle outside of our house except dragging ourselves to work and rushing home in the afternoon, cuz we got SERIOUS TV now! Like we're real adults. So do you want to know what we're doing this weekend? We'll be wearing our sweatsuits and slippers and watching college football on the mtn and texting Lee and Nathaniel the whole time. Woot!

DUDES!!!

Gas at the Maverick station right by my work is only $2.07!! You should go there! And!! AND!!! You can get Abuelita hot cocoa from the machine and it's QUE RICO!!! Are you pinching yourself? I still am!

As It Turns Out...

I learned that I am very sensitive to the placebo effect. I learned this at a recent doctor's visit. He was asking me about my reaction to a medication I was taking, and I told him I could feel the effects immediately. As in, that very day. I never thought anything of it. I just knew what the medication claimed to do, and it helped with the condition. I didn't think it was weird that it took no time.

But when I talked to him the other day, he said, "Just so you know, that medication takes 2 weeks to start working". Can you believe? So the improvement was all my brain making the change it was expecting.

I'm sorry, but I don't feel disclosing personal medical information over the internet, so I'm not going into detail about it. Who knows who's reading this? Right?

But anyway, I actually think it's exciting. I love the idea that my brain has a lot of faith and it can fix things. I wouldn't mind if every medication I was on was just a placebo. But I guess maybe that wouldn't work if I knew about it? Why take some sketchy, possibly harmful, and expensive medication when our brains can do the work for us? I'm sure it doesn't always work. But placebo science is fascinating to me. I've heard that a lot of doctors have started giving placebos in situations where no treatment has proven successful for a patient. I think it's a fine idea. But it seems that if you are a patient and you've tried many different medications and none of them have worked for you, doesn't it seem like the placebo effect would be weaker for you? Like maybe your expectations for improvement are lower because you haven't witnessed positive results? I'm not totally sure how it works. Anyone know?

So Michelle and I decided

That we are the managers of our entrance of our apartment building. I tried to Allison that since Rick moved out, Michelle and I would be the new managers of our whole apartment building. But she wasn't having it. She did not think we have the authority to do so. And she may be right about that. Helen hasn't given us keys to all the apartments or anything. And also we're just girl, so we can't do a lot of stuff. And we don't know how to fix anything.

So I decided that we could be the new managers of our apartment entrance. So that's apartments 6,7, and 8. We all go in the same door. And Michelle and I have lived here longer than CK and Allison, so it only makes sense for us to be in charge.

So this is mostly just a heads up. If you need the upstairs girls for anything, it might be helpful to go through us first. We'll have their schedules posted on our wall. And just to let you know, since this is a big responsibility, I may be busy more often and it may be EVEN HARDER to get ahold of me. Didn't think that was possible, did you?

As part of Michelle and my new schedule, we'll be checking on those girls daily to make sure everything is running smoothly in their apartments and in their lives. And we consider ourselves lucky because most apartment managers only get to have a professional "hands off" relationship with the people in the building. But since we're friends with these girls, it can be more hands on. We're going to give out plenty of hugs where they're needed and give out relationship advice. And even on certain occasions, you might find us crying together with our tenants.

So maybe you feel jealous that you don't have this relationship with your apartment entrance manager. Maybe you should move into our building? Or at least learn from our example.

Git 'eem!! Git 'eem!!

If you were at the last BYU home football game, maybe you overheard me shouting this in the stands. But maybe it wasn't me. Maybe it was one of the other many women there who were also shouting this when we were cheering on our defense.

I'm going to share a tiny secret about myself. I'm way into sports right now (relatively speaking)! And it's not even to please a boy. I'm so stoked about the NBA season starting. And I finally agreed to let Michelle get fancy cable for our home so that we can have the Mtn to watch college football.

And last weekend when BYU was playing Colorado State, I was freaking out. But that was a really close and exciting game.

Kay, I just shared something really personal and embarrassing about myself. So please don't judge me. And please, let's keep this between us. I've always thought sports were silly and pointless. And honestly I still do in a way, but I can also see their value. And I think getting really into a sporting event is a great way to relieve stress somehow. Don't ask me how. And don't judge me.

UPDATE!!!

So I'm sure you've been wondering about what ever happened to Michelle, her bike, her poor concept of bike care, and her low expectations of robbers' abilities, right? Well over the course of the last couple of weeks, things have happened. A couple of days after my first post she took her bike out of the living room and put it in our entry way (where her old bike is). I guess that was a compromise of not having it take up valuable living room space while not having it unlocked outside--free reign for meth-addicted robbers. There it sat in our entry way for about 2 weeks. Luckily it didn't get stolen even though it wasn't locked. I think the only real problem that occurred was that it impeded the moving out that was going on upstairs (our friend is getting married). About a week ago I noticed evidence that a bike lock had been purchased (I saw the plastic case that the lock was sold in sitting on the counter), but still not locked up.... UNTIL yesterday! It's locked up happily outside on our tiny fence on the other side of mine. Hopefully our neighb won't mind that michelle's bike is on her side of the little fence. I wonder if she asked her if it'd be okay... Anyway, I'm happy about this story's happy ending. It just goes to show that passively aggressively complaining about someone on your blog DOES INDEED heed the desired results!! So carry on, everyone! Maybe it just takes time, but eventually things will happen. No need to confront problems directly.

So let me try this. I really wish SLC would do a better job sweeping their glorious wide streets so I didn't get so many flat tires!

Isn't This Weird?

You might need to click on this picture to enlarge it so you can see it better. But the other night I looked down at my hand and i had a scratch on my hand that was the perfect shape of a little red arrow. So weird, huh? I wondered if it was trying to point me to something. Like to my destiny. But nothing happened (that I know of) and now the arrow scratch is gone.

Not To Be Rude, But...

I think someone should steal Michelle's bike (again). Not in a mean way, though. I just think it's high time this debutante learns a thing or two about responsibility. She bought this neat bike. It's an old ten speed. It's not that neat, but it gets the job done. And she has replaced and repaired the tires AND tubes a couple times now. So you'd think she'd be invested in her bike. Not so.

She's too lazy to go buy a bike lock. Do you want to know what she's doing right now? She's taking a nap on the couch. Do you want to know where her bike is right now? It's sitting in our tiny living room. But most of the time lately it's been sitting outside our apartment. She leans it up against Allison's bike, which is locked up. Michelle's theory is that robbers are too dumb to look closely and notice that the bikes aren't actually locked up together.

But I beg to differ. Although robbers are dumb (like stealing MY crappy old laptop for meth money), they are actually quite resourceful, and when they see something they want, they go for it. Even to the extent that they might look closely enough to see that the bike isn't locked.

Sometimes I wish Michelle had this same level of ambition as meth addicted robbers have. Instead, she idly sits on our sofa. Sleeping the day away. Probably hoping for new material for her dream blog.

Tamale Dinner Party Dinner Special Night.

Here are some pics from our most recent tamale party. They were incredibly delishus. Sorry if I posted a picture of you against your will. We had homemade tamales (yum) and homemade saltsa (yum) and homemade guac (yum) and a pineapple (yum) and we ate them on our cute little back patio (adorable) and we lit little candles and surrounded our dining area with cute little candles (even more adorable). Oh, and for dessert Chris made homemade apple empanadas (YUM) and DH brought really amazing fried icecream (it came in an icecream box from Smeeyus. So brilliant).

Sounds like a wonderful night, right? Well, it was. But like they say, every outdoor tamale party has to have its fair share of snail attackers, right? After this lovely dining experience, I was ready for bed. But I was stopped by a little squeal from my hoonmate. Turns out we had more visitors than we expected. We brought in 3 ginormous snails with our tamales. Gross! They were crawling all over the tamales and our dishrack. We had to tug to get that slime ball to let go of our silverware holder. EW. And the worst part was that we had to throw away the leftover tamales. :(

Mountain Vistas

Here are some pictures from DH & my romantic drive up in the mountains. He took turns climbing into a log. And the leaves were really beautiful too, but I realize that I didn't take any beautiful leaf pics cuz I was way too into taking creepy pics of DH. Oh, and we went to Dick's to get milkshakes and this mean old lady bossed us around.

I'm better than you...

I'm better than you because:

• I ride my bike everywhere
• Which means that I love the earth
• And I'm not fat
• Or lazy
• Like you
• And I own the streets and feel like I can do anything I want when I'm riding my bike
• And my bike gets 8 miles to the organic banana.
• So you better watch out for me on the streets
• Because I'm not going to look around for anyone else!
  

The Great State of Utah Great State Fair

The Great State of Utah Greatest State Fair of the World, by Lady Ace.

This is me and my homegirls at the Utah State Fair Great State Fair Experience. (I am the bottom left pear. Hoon is top left. AJ is top right. Natcakes is bottom right pear.)



For us the fair was a wonderful experience. We saw many animals and many beautiful and interesting things. For example we saw this beautiful baby girl that someone crafted with her own hands! Blue ribbon!











For another example we saw kernel pops. Both clever and cute! And even TASTY!!











This is me and DH pretending to be apples. These are the foods which we wish we ate. Unfortunately however we ate many funnel cakes, and fried twinkies, and navajo tacos, all of which made us ill.














And this is a both where you can buy these unhealthful foods, like a fried peanut butter & jelly sandwich! (battered & fried crustable). Please note the look on young excited girl's face. This is how the fair makes each one of us feel in general. Full of surprise and anticipation. My only regret, I didn't take a picture of Lord Piggy.

THE RED COATS ARE COMING!!!

So I just got back from a little trip to Boston. I'd never been there before. It's a pretty neat place. Lots of history. While I was there I had this ongoing joke in my head about running around screaming hysterically, "THE RED COATS ARE COMING!!!" just to see if that still gets any sort of reaction in bean town. I don't know. It was probably WAY funnier in my head. I bet no one would even care now if the red coats were coming. Kind of sad, really. We were passing through the park and we saw these red coats. They were marching nobly through the park, so we followed them. They were encouraging people to follow them. But then I realized that it's actually probably a horrible idea to follow a big group of red coats. I bet they were leading us straight to some big trap. These people may seem benign now, but they still have a score to settle. So luckily we didn't follow them long before we came to our senses and moved on.

Does Michael Phelps Have A Dad?

Does Michael Phelps have a dad??

Don't Waste Utah

Maybe some of you who grew up in Utah, or at least lived in Utah in the 80s would remember the clever ad campaign, "Don't Waste Utah", in which this hottie and his dog single-handedly fought the good fight against litter bugs on our remote Utah highways? Well these commercials left a lasting impression on me. I probably do a lot of foolish things to destroy the environment and I don't always make the effort to offset my carbon footprint, but you can believe I NEVER litter!

Well, unfortunately my hoon-mate wasn't raised in Utah. She's from Arizona. Apparently in Arizona the ad campaign down there was something more like, "If There's Something In Your Car That You Don't Want In There, Don't Just Leave It Till You Get To A Gas Station, Throw It Out The Window." And maybe there was some comparable hottie and his dog, driving down the remote highways of AZ getting annoyed by cups and garbage in the car and throwing them out the window? I don't know.

So obviously there's a story that goes along with this diatribe. The other day we went up to beautiful Bear Lake. We swam in the cool clear blue waters. We napped upon the sandy beaches. Ahhhh... When we left my hoon-mate decided that she needed to try one of the famous Bear Lake raspberry milkshakes. Pretty good idea. The little place was so crowded and slow, so she just ate it in the car as we drove home. Well, she got to the point where she'd enjoyed as much of that shake as she cared to enjoy. I was sitting in the backseat. I wasn't sure what was going on, but she rolled down her window, reached over for something, and next thing I know, she threw that milkshake out the window and onto that remote, pristine northern Utah highway. She said she felt bad, but she didn't know what to do with it. I guess it would have been foolish to just leave it in the cup holder until we got to a gas station. Or at least waited until we got to Wyoming to throw it out?

I don't know. I guess, Who am I to judge? She wasn't raised the same way as me. She didn't know any better...

Aug 9th

Just wanted to say... I miss Jerry. Still. Even after all these years. Yes, I'm a hippie. I'm not ashamed.

No Offense But...

I don't think motorcycles are cool. Hardly at all. Well, maybe a little bit. But for how deadly and dangerous they are, the coolness of them does not compare. It kind of annoys me when people on motorcycles weave through traffic on the freeway and ride down the shoulder or between lanes when there's a traffic jam, and then they complain that we need to "start seeing motorcycles". Kinda ridic if you think about it. And I have no evidence for saying this, but I think they probably lower sperm count...

Another Elephant!!

So if you're a friend or family member of mine, this is a GREAT time to have a baby. I'm way into crafting right now (mostly just sewing). And now that we finally got an air conditioner in our apartment it's actually bearable to sew. I made this elephant for Minky last night. I worked fast and diligently and I think it's really cute, but don't look too close. It has its flaws, just like all of us. I don't know if these pics will do it justice cuz it really is cute and I'm not ashamed to brag. And the fabric is flannel, so it'll be all soft and cuddly for a little baby boy. I just hope the buttons won't kill anyone. I really doubt if they will...

Did you know?

That I cut like 10 inches off my hair? I hope everyone will still like me. And no, I didn't donate it. I would have, but I think it wasn't quite long enough, and since it had been a year since I last cut my hair, I figured they wouldn't want my raggedy split endy hair for wigs anyway.

DO YOU KNOW YOUR REAL AGE???????

So I'm a total sucker for online quizzes. A lot of them are dumb, but I really liked this one. It asks a bunch of questions about your lifestyle and then it tells you your real age. It told me that my real age is 5 yrs younger than my fake age!! I think that's pretty good. I think it would have gone even younger if I knew off the top of my head how many milligrams of certain vitamins and minerals are in the multivitamin I take. My score was helped a lot by the fact that I always wear my seatbelt, I don't smoke, I don't ride a motorcycle, I eat lots of veggies and no red meat. My score would go up if I had a dog or a cat as a pet. I thought that was pretty interesting. If you have something to snuggle you feel less stress and petting a small domestic animal can actually lower your blood pressure. Maybe I should let hoon get a kitty after all. Here's the link. What's YOUR real age??
http://www.realage.com

My Own Personal Library

So I have a habit of collecting books lately. Lots of books. That's all I really ever want to buy. So as it turns out, I have a lot of books. And I'm happy about that. I love owning the books I love. I have trouble with library books because I don't do well with deadlines. And also I really love being able to underline my favorite parts from books and going back to them at later times. But now my room is spewing over with books. So, I am making everyone an offer. I hate to see these books sitting on my shelf. Mostly only to be read once. If anyone, who is mostly responsible and trustworthy, would like to borrow books from me, I'd gladly lend them out. I mean, if you know that you're not good at borrowing stuff and you lose and ruin books, maybe you shouldn't take me up on my offer. I mean, I might hesitate to lend myself a book, but in the end I think I'd do it. And I want to thank all of you who have entrusted me with your book lendings. And I want to apologize to you who have lent me books (and other things) that I have borrowed and never returned. Anyway, if you want a list of my books, let me know.

Summer Short Story Derby!!!

So there has been set forth a challenge this summer to write the best short story. Well, not the best in the world. Just out of some of my friends. And we're actually not even really looking for the "best". It's more of a celebration than a contest. I'm really excited about it, so I hope it's really happening. People have been very silent about it, so I hope it's a sign that people are busily writing and keeping their ideas for an end of summer surprise. I've been intrigued by the short story format for some time. It seems so doable to me. Maybe I'm fooling myself. A novel seems impossible. But a short story, on the other hand, seems like something a regular gal like me might be able to do. I've been reading and listening to a lot of short stories over the past few months. I can't get enough of them. My favorite thing about them is that, well, they are short. I love the idea of getting any sort of theme or message or even something interesting into such a small space. The author needs to be calculated with what he or she leaves in or out. I'm partial to Russian authors lately, so I've read some Chekov, Babel, Gogol... But I've also been reading Italo Calvino, Jorge Luis Borges... hmmm... mostly foreign. But that's probably okay. Anyway, to help me along my journey I got this book at the biggest and definitely one of the greatest bookstores I've ever been to--Powell's in downtown Portland. It was highly recommended. So far I like it, but even though she's stating the opposite, I still feel like I have to be born to write, or not at all. It doesn't really seem like a learned thing. And I enjoy writing, but it's not like I can't seem to stop myself or that it's all I can think about or anything. So I guess we'll see how it goes. Anyway, this book is called Bird By Bird by Anne Lamott. If you can't read the subtitle it says, "Some Instructions on Writing and Life". Sounds a little cheesy. No offense. We'll see how it goes.

Sewing

Sew... I don't want to mislead anyone into thinking that I've been crafty lately. I've been lazy. It's too hot to sew, and it's definitely WAY too hot to knit or crochet. But I've finally loaded some pictures of recentish projects onto my computer. I have aspirations for some upcoming projects, sew I feel that's good enough for now. We don't have real air-conditioning in my apartment, sew I'm going to wait a while...

Here is a picture of my adorable mom and the apron I made her for Mothers Day. She knew that I was making her an apron because I told her I wanted to make her an apron. But I don't think she knew how cute it was going to be. I mean, look at it.





















Here is an elephant that I made for my friend's baby. I tried to finish it before the baby shower, but of course I didn't get it done in time. And when it comes to giving gifts, I either have to give it to the recipient right away, or they probably won't get it for about a year. So now the elephant is done, but I keep forgetting to give it to my friend. I don't know what my problem is. I'm getting old. My mom told me not to use buttons for the eyes because the baby will choke on them and die and I really don't want to kill anyone's babies. But I used the tiniest buttons the store had for the tiny elephant eyes. I think these shouldn't kill any babies. I think they're small enough that the baby can easily swallow it if it comes down to it.

Where's Doug Fabrizio???

Does anyone know where he is? He's been gone for like 3 weeks!!! This is torture! I mean, no offense Jennifer Napier-Pierce or Jenny Brundine, But you are NOT D-fab. I wonder if we should worry about him? Maybe he's out of the country? I MISS HIM!!!

Blog Babies

I've been hearing a lot of this lately, "WHA???!!! You don't read my blog??? Every single day???" Wahhh, Wahhh. Cry me a river, babies. And I'm getting sick of it. So I just wanted to clear the air. And I'd really like to beat some of these people down (NOT an imminent threat). I'm REALLY sorry that I don't read everyone's blogs all the time. Really sorry. It doesn't mean that I don't value you as a person or think you're not funny and clever or that I don't think you have the cutest kids or that you aren't preparing to have the best wedding ever. It's not. Really. I enjoy reading blogs when I can. I like anonymously keeping up on what my friends are doing without actually having to talk to them, just like everybody else. But I just try to avoid the internet as much as possible in general. And if it makes you feel any better, I seldom check my own blog, as you can clearly see.

And please, don't come back at me with any passive aggressive remarks about how you're "Just going to stop reading my blog" or talk crap on me on your blog called "the daily uncool", cuz that just doesn't bother me. Well, the whining does get to me...

I feel flattered when people read my blog or comment on it. I think it's nice to know people care and want to read and comment. But if you choose not to read or comment, I won't be hurt or offended and I certainly will never say to you, "Remember on my blog when I said that really awesome thing?.... WHA??? You never read my blog every day???? But it's so FUNNY!!!" I guess that I place my self-worth in other things. I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't.

Let's make a deal, I'LL read your blog any chance I get, cuz honestly I think your blog is funny, interesting, I think you have the cutest kids, I think your wedding will be amazing, and I want to KIT; and YOU can read my blog whenever you feel like it and if you feel wounded because I'm not giving your blog enough TLC, well I support you in boycotting my blog. Deal?

So You Think You Can Dance vs. American Idol

I just want to rant for a moment. I'm addicted to SYTYCD. I have dancing dreams and I like to pretend that I have a secret life as a dancer. And some hidden talents.

I was thinking about how SYTYCD is like the AI of dancing. However, let me point some things out. 1) For the most part I HATE cover songs. There are a lot of exceptions, but it's typically when the musicians do something interesting or unique or cool with it. But when post-teens on AI sing cover songs, they typically do NOT do anything other than utterly destroy and bring shame to the original.
2) AI is BORING!!! Have you ever actually tried to sit and watch that show??? So painful.
3) The overall talent level on AI is much lower. A bunch of pubescents who have had way to much alone time with their karaoke machines, or rock band or whatever. You can't get on SYTYCD by merely playing too much dance dance revolution.
4) Another point on talent, SYTYCD actually has super awesome choreographers from various genres of dance and they work with the dancers and they come up with amazing & creative dances. Don't get me wrong, the dancers are amazingly talented, but combine them with these choreographers and it's actually impressive.

Minus points:
1) Mary--the wannabe Marie Osmond is probably the most obnoxious person on the earth and I think she knows that and is pleased and that makes me hate her even more.
2) I really hate that all of these America's choice shows think they can take up 2 nights of your week. Greedy. We have other things to do. And more importantly other tv shows to watch. I get that they need to count the votes of the American people, but seriously. It's ridic.
3) I get that it's partly the judges and partly the American people who get to determine who can dance and who can't. I get that. But it bugs me when they give the judges time right before the American people cast their votes to allow the judges to put in their 2 cents to try to sway the American people. I think we already heard enough of them throughout the show. This should be our time, as the American people, to have OUR voices heard. Not just regurgitation of judges' opinions.

Anyway, that's my thoughts. Surely more to come.

My Thoughts on Chocolate...

I have some important words to say about chocolate. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Well, I think about it a lot in general. Probably more than the average human. But more recently than normal.

I love chocolate. A lot. It's like you put this smooth, comforting little brown chunk of stuff in your mouth. And it makes out with you from inside your mouth. Sorry if that was too graphic. It really does make me feel happy. And it's gotten me through some rough times. I know there are people in this world who don't like chocolate. I'm not one of those people. And neither is Cathy. But I've been trying to explore some of the possible reasons why people might not like chocolate. Here are some that I've come up with.

1) You haven't ever had good chocolate. I mean GOOD chocolate. I don't claim to be any sort of chocolate snob or connoisseur. Not even at all. But all chocolate is NOT created equally. And there is a difference between good chocolate and crap. If all you've ever had is a hershey's bar, go do yourself a favor and go try something good.
2) You don't know how to eat chocolate. I personally cringe when I see someone take a big bite of a chocolate bar, chew it up quick, and swallow it. It's just not right. You have to let it soak on your tongue for a while to allow it to work it's magic. If you don't, you're missing the whole point and all the joy that comes.
3) You're immature. Maybe you're one of those people who, when your sweet tooth perks up, you go looking for some skittles, smarties, pixie stix, fun dip lick-a-maid, or whatever? Well, congratulations to you for being able to read this blog at only 7 years old! That's a big accomplishment!! Oh, and if you're over 7 and those candies sound good to you, maybe it's time to grow up?
4) You're not a real woman yet. This reason is pretty similar to the last reason. Being a real, natural woman, I know that I need chocolate. I know how important and useful it is. I'm not saying that it's just for women, but when you become a real woman, you'll know you're there because you'll know when you need chocolate. Not saying this doesn't happen to men too. But I just know from a real woman's perspective. And if you're a real man, you'll be capable of providing the woman in your life with the chocolate that she needs.
5) You have no libido. Maybe this is too harsh? And I don't actually have any evidence to prove this is true, but it's something to consider.
6) You like to punish yourself. You think it makes you a better person to deny yourself good and beautiful things in life. And maybe you're right.

I think I might have some more reasons, but this is where I'm starting.

Bikes? Yay!!!

I suppose the most reasonable follow-up to my moaning about ridic gas prices is to praise my bike. And bikes in general. What a brilliant invention. Lately anytime I'm going anywhere around town, I ride my bike. I love doing bike errands. I ride to the movies, to the markets, to the parties, and restaurants. AND I'm getting an awesome work out in the meantime. AND I have awesome conversations and encounters with people on the streets of Salt Lake. My favorite--a couple of days ago I was riding my bike down to the gateway to see a movie with mp & cf. I was waiting at a red stop light. A little hunched over old lady with long gray braids was shuffling across the street. She looked up at me and said in a thick accent, "Oh goodie, goodie! I was buy a new bicycle too!" and it was maybe the cutest thing that's ever happened to me. All I could do was smile and say, oh good! Also, last week I rode my bike to lil em's wedding at the SLC temple. For some reason riding my bike to someone's wedding was a thrilling experience. Unfortunately for me it was a breezy day and I was wearing a billowy dress, so I think I might have given some homeless dudes downtown a show. But I don't regret it. Maybe someday I'll figure a way to ride my bike to my own wedding. Bikes!!

Gas Prices? Ridic!!

Wow. It's really shocking. I remember when I was 18 and I worked in Yosemite and we were driving through the Sierras and I saw a gas station in the mountains and the gas was $1.80. I was dumbfounded. I wanted to stop and take a picture because I was sure no one back home would believe that gas was so expensive anywhere... Man. If I could turn back time. If I could find a way.
So because of this I've done some thinking. I hate to break it to some of you, but if you don't live close enough that I can walk or ride my bike to your house, I don't think we can be friends anymore. It's been fun and you all mean a lot to me, but I don't see any other way. But I will let you know if any more apartments become available in my building so that EVERYONE I know can live with me. We could start a commune!!!

Some Inspirational Thoughts on Blonde on Blonde...

When I was 14 and my brother was getting ready to go on his mission, I hurried and made some trips to Radioshack to buy some blank 90 min cassette tapes so I could copy some of his cd's before he packed them all up and didn't want me to touch them. One of the tapes I made was Blonde on Blonde. This album has been a timeless masterpiece and a source of continual inspiration to me. It's the kind of album that I can listen to for years and years and never get sick of. I listen to it still, in fact, this morning. Unlike a lot of other albums I was into when I was 14, I don't just listen to this for nostalgic purposes. It still affects me. I don't claim to be any kind of Dylan expert, but to me his tone in this album has a sarcastic, bitter edge--like someone has who has been deeply wounded but is only passively able to admit it. There are lyrics in this album that have stuck with me for over 10 years since I first started listening to it. And just like old Mormon ladies and their fascination with James Christensen paintings, I keep discovering some new magical tidbit that I never noticed before and it inspires me. I'm going to remark on some of the album highlights for me.
First of all, Rainy Day Women #12 & 35... no offense Bob. I think you're a genius and this album is nearly flawless, but I almost always skip this song. For some reason it doesn't sit right with me. I allow myself one skip on every Bob Dylan album. Blood on the Tracks--Lily, Rosemary, and the Jack of Hearts. New Morning--When Dogs Run Free. You get the picture. Anyway. Moving on...
Visions of Johanna--beautiful, beautiful song. Never in all my days on this earth will I get tired of this song. My favorite line that I've loved since high school is, "Inside the museum, infinity goes up on trial. Voices echo this is what salvation must be like after a while..." I love it. So deep. It speaks to me.
I Want You--Okay. The chorus of this song is, "I want you. I want you. I want you. So bad." I love it. Is there any other song that is more straight forward without being crude? I love it.
Temporary Like Achilles--"I'm trying to read your portrait but I'm helpless, like a rich man's child". I've known some rich men's children in my lifetime and it's true. They can be pretty helpless. This line has popped into my head on many occasions dealing with these people. (Love you though!!!)
Leopard Skin Pill-box Hat--"Well I see you got a new boyfriend, you know I've never seen him before, well I saw you makin' love to him, you forgot to close the garage door"... do I need to say more about this song??!!??
Most Likely You'll Go Your Way and I'll Go Mine--Okay, this is probably the most empowering song ever written, maybe after I Will Survive. In the chorus he says, "I'm gonna let you pass". I'm not totally sure what was going on in the story of this song, but it's kind of ambiguous who dumped who. But in my interpretation it's the kind of thing where you are the one who gets dumped or treated wrongly, but you still feel like you're coming out the victor. And although that may not be the case at all, you've told yourself that and you've done a pretty convincing job. It's kind of like reading "He's Just Not That Into You" and feeling awesome and empowered even when you've totally been rejected. This song has helped me through some pretty rough times.
4th Time Around--"I never took much. I never asked for your crutch. Now don't ask for mine." BOOM!!! That's a real eff-you if I ever heard one.
Huh. I just noticed a pattern. Unless my most inspirational line is in the chorus, it tends to be almost at the very end of the song. I wonder what that means. Sweet! I have a topic for my dissertation.
I hope you all enjoy this album as much as I do. Just don't tell me if you've never listened to it. That would be too embarrassing. Go borrow someone's cd and make a cassette tape and act like you've had it forev! Ha. jk. Does anyone else have any thoughts to add?

What I've Been Reading...

I thought I might share with you bloggers what I've been reading lately. Well, some of the things I've been reading. I have about 14 books next to my bed, all of which I dabble in occasionally. I've been reading a lot of psychology books. Have you ever heard of Csikszentmihalyi? He's fascinating. Here's an article that's a good overview: http://austega.com/education/articles/flow.htm
I read a book called Beyond Boredom and Anxiety. It 's about optimal experiences, or flow--where we do things that are not so easy that we're bored and not so difficult that we feel anxious (hence the name). It was great.

In a similar vein I've been reading some of Abraham Maslow's books. Similar to Csikszentmihalyi's flow, Maslow writes about "peak experiences". Most people know him for his Hierarchy of Needs. It's all related. In order to be a self-actualizing person you need to have your basic needs met. If you are driven by deficiency in life you won't have the power to go beyond that. Right now I'm reading Toward a Psychology of Being. Fascinating too. I got this book at the library and I'm wishing I would have just bought it. There's so many things I want to underline and notes I want to take. Here's a link that has a good overview and a lot of exerpts: http://www.psychedelic-library.org/maslow.htm
Maybe this isn't interesting to anyone, but I'm excited about it all and I thought I should share.

More Travelling ALONE!!

I also got to go to Vernal and Roosevelt for my job. I love it out there. I don't feel like I fit in because I don't drive a huge truck. In fact, I drove a Toyota Prius. Everyone out there must have thought I was a total sissy. One of my favorite places to go in Vernal is to the Vernal D.I.'s. Here is a picture of a seashell kitty that I wanted to buy, but not really. I thought I could share it with more people if I put it on my blog. Plus I'm getting a little crowded with creepy stuff in my apartment:










Here is the drive-in in Vernal. I hope to go there this summer. It looks really cool. The one in Roosevelt is cool too. It has a swingset in the front. I hope Melissa had a good 22nd!!

Travelling ALONE!!!

I have a job that allows me to travel around the great state of Utah ALL BY MYSELF!!! greatest thing ever.
Here is a picture of me at the Goose Necks State Park in San Juan County. It was windy that day, so I had to wear my hood.







This is what it looks like there:







And I drew a picture of it too:

Some Things I Made During General Conference...

I made this bag out of some flowery fabric I got at the D.I.'s and some other cute fabric. My friend Emilie taught me how to make it. CUTE!!!









And here is a belt I made out of an old sheet. No one showed me how to make these. Just common sense. It was really easy. And fun. I'll make you one for 10 bucks.








And I also made a super cute apron, but BLOGGER is having some technical difficulties with that picture, so I'll have to post it later. It's actually not totally finished, so maybe it's for the best anyway.

Better Late Than Never, Right?

I'm really bad at giving people gifts. It's not that I don't care. I'm just slow. Not only that, but I'm slow in the worst possible way. Here is a picture of the afghan that I made for my friend Nicole's baby. Her baby shower was back in December, I think. I tried to hurry and finish it for the shower, but I couldn't quite get it done in time. I only had one row left to do. I'd only started a few days before, so it wasn't shocking that I wasn't able to get it done. So I gave her the incomplete afghan, but told her I'd finish it soon.... Well 4 months later I finally finished that one row and gave it to her at her birthday party. But I think she liked it.

CRAFTIVITY!!

I've been doing a lot of crafting lately. Well, to put it more accurately, I've been preparing myself to do a lot of crafting lately. Danny got me a sewing machine for Christmas and I took a community sewing class that was great. I can't seem to stop buying patterns and craft books from the 70s. For some reason their crafts were far superior to our crafts today. Let me know if you ever want to make anything. I have lots of sewing, knitting, crocheting patterns. I also have a book about how to make fun bedrooms for your kids. I don't have kids, but it was such a cool book. I couldn't pass it up. There's a bunkbed that has a slide coming down from it!!! And another bunkbed that doesn't have a bed on the bottom, but rather a little art center. So cool. I want them for myself.

Here is a pattern for Halloween costumes for kids. Let me know if you want to borrow it.











Here's a detail of each of the costumes
An astronaut:













An Easter Bunny:













And a Sassy Cheetah:












I can't decide which one I like best. I think I love them all...

Cooking Tip: How to Avoid the Tears

You know how everyone is always trying to put in their 2 cents about how to cut an onion so you won't cry? All of the tips I've heard of and tried so far not only don't work, but they're TOTALLY RIDIC!!! I think my mom says to put a piece of bread under your top lip or something like that.

I thought of this brilliant new one. Swimming goggles. Yes, swimming goggles. It works. Try it! I LOVE cooking and many things I cook involve chopping onions, and since I no longer live with Nikki 6, I have to buck up and chop the onions myself. And I hate it. Or at least I did. Now it doesn't bother me at all. Try it. You'll want to thank me.

My Thoughts on Kirstie Alley

Don't you ever feel sorry for her? The media loves to take pictures of Kirstie Alley looking her absolute worst. I think Kirstie has crossed some sort of threshold that I think paparazzi and gossip mags need to be aware of: She just doesn't care anymore. She's not concerned about looking hot on her way to make a burger run. She'll go out in her sweats any time, any day. You'd think at that the whole thing of stalking celebs and taking unflattering pictures of them to make them look bad would no longer be fun at that point. It's the same principle that causes some people who are being teased to turn the other cheek and not react and it makes the teaser finally give up. I know that Kirstie Alley is hardly in the lime light anymore. Surely this entry would have had its greatest impact a couple years ago during that whole fat actress thing. But the idea is the same. We need to leave people like Kirstie Alley alone and focus our efforts on people like LC, Fergie, and Jennifer Anniston. People who would DIE if anyone saw them in sweats or without make up. Let's make this intrusive, defiling, and creepy game fun again!!! Let's not waste our time bullying the kid who has already graciously accepted his nickname.

Here's to Pisces!

I just wanted to make a little shout out to Pisceans. It's currently your time to shine! I'm not known as a lover of this weakest sign of the zodiac, but I wanted to let all of my Pisces friends to know that I love and support you and that there are no hard feelings. We all know that Pisces are lazy day dreamers, but that doesn't mean they aren't worthwhile people. True, they may not contribute much to society. But there is still something special about them. Pisces bring a sense of mystery and charm into all of our lives. Their dream world is exactly what folk-progrockers envisioned. I think it's good to be exposed to this world. Pisceans make it cool and acceptable to be sensitive. They have the burden of being the sign associated with feet. In fact, Pisceans probably have painful feet right now, even though they are likely vegging on the couch. Being a Gemini it seems unlikely that I would have much of a bond with any of these dreamy fish. But in fact Geminis and Pisces work wonders together when they meet on artistic planes. It's so true! Even though lil toot and I were in school together since jr. high, we didn't become friends until we had art classes together. And Minky and I were stitched together through crotcheting and knitting. Danny H. has filled our house with beautiful works of art, and I think my attending Marsha's MFA show was the kick off of our friendship. My life has been enhanced and beautified thanks to my relationships with these and many other Pisces! Thank you for giving me a chance to love and accept you!!!
(but ps. I have a nephew on the way and he could come out any day now. No offense but I'm hoping he'll stay in till March 21. I LOVE Aries!)

I've Been a Long Time Gone

So I decided to fill everyone in on the changes at our house. Maybe some of you are already familiar with these delightful changes. Maybe some of you will be inspired.
Exhibit A:
This sad girl with her snide cat is Blesh. She's maybe the noteworthy piece of art that we've had in our house for the longest time. She's in our bathroom. I feel bad for her every time I go in there. I can only postulate why she's crying. But I'm pretty sure it has something to do with that cat. And maybe the cat's indifference.



Exhibit B:
Along with the cat theme this is a gold foil cat that dh gave me for my b-day. It used to be central to the cat room in the apartment and he thought it should stay here. This cat is much more pleasant and cheerful than Blesh's cat. I think the 2 cats balance each other out maybe?




Exhibit C:
This is the retarded angel that hung on our Christmas tree last year but is now on our fridge.

Exhibit D:
This is the creepy little doll that DD gave me. I'm not sure why everyone seems to have the idea that they should give me creepy little dolls, but I commend everyone who does because it's the right idea. I seem to be a magnet for things like this. (She's holding an inspirational quote. Let me know if you're interested in knowing what it says.)



Exhibit E:
This is one of our newest additions. This is what dh gave Hoon for her b-day. And now he proudly hangs on our wall. I can't remember the name they gave him. Some sort of vampire g.a. thing.





I hope this was an enjoyable virtual tour of my life and my house. I'm a sporadic blogger. 3 posts in 1 day 3 months ago... 3 posts in 1 day 3 months later. But I'll try to be more regular.