Friday, June 20, 2008

My Thoughts on Chocolate...

I have some important words to say about chocolate. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Well, I think about it a lot in general. Probably more than the average human. But more recently than normal.

I love chocolate. A lot. It's like you put this smooth, comforting little brown chunk of stuff in your mouth. And it makes out with you from inside your mouth. Sorry if that was too graphic. It really does make me feel happy. And it's gotten me through some rough times. I know there are people in this world who don't like chocolate. I'm not one of those people. And neither is Cathy. But I've been trying to explore some of the possible reasons why people might not like chocolate. Here are some that I've come up with.

1) You haven't ever had good chocolate. I mean GOOD chocolate. I don't claim to be any sort of chocolate snob or connoisseur. Not even at all. But all chocolate is NOT created equally. And there is a difference between good chocolate and crap. If all you've ever had is a hershey's bar, go do yourself a favor and go try something good.
2) You don't know how to eat chocolate. I personally cringe when I see someone take a big bite of a chocolate bar, chew it up quick, and swallow it. It's just not right. You have to let it soak on your tongue for a while to allow it to work it's magic. If you don't, you're missing the whole point and all the joy that comes.
3) You're immature. Maybe you're one of those people who, when your sweet tooth perks up, you go looking for some skittles, smarties, pixie stix, fun dip lick-a-maid, or whatever? Well, congratulations to you for being able to read this blog at only 7 years old! That's a big accomplishment!! Oh, and if you're over 7 and those candies sound good to you, maybe it's time to grow up?
4) You're not a real woman yet. This reason is pretty similar to the last reason. Being a real, natural woman, I know that I need chocolate. I know how important and useful it is. I'm not saying that it's just for women, but when you become a real woman, you'll know you're there because you'll know when you need chocolate. Not saying this doesn't happen to men too. But I just know from a real woman's perspective. And if you're a real man, you'll be capable of providing the woman in your life with the chocolate that she needs.
5) You have no libido. Maybe this is too harsh? And I don't actually have any evidence to prove this is true, but it's something to consider.
6) You like to punish yourself. You think it makes you a better person to deny yourself good and beautiful things in life. And maybe you're right.

I think I might have some more reasons, but this is where I'm starting.


Maudie Jane said...

Thank you for letting the world know that just because you are a woman and you roar and all that doesn't mean you don't need things, like chocolate. I'm glad I'm not the only one.

Jessica said...

Well said Elin. I can't relate to people who don't like chocolate--freaky deaks the lot of them.

marshall p said...