Summer Short Story Derby!!!

So there has been set forth a challenge this summer to write the best short story. Well, not the best in the world. Just out of some of my friends. And we're actually not even really looking for the "best". It's more of a celebration than a contest. I'm really excited about it, so I hope it's really happening. People have been very silent about it, so I hope it's a sign that people are busily writing and keeping their ideas for an end of summer surprise. I've been intrigued by the short story format for some time. It seems so doable to me. Maybe I'm fooling myself. A novel seems impossible. But a short story, on the other hand, seems like something a regular gal like me might be able to do. I've been reading and listening to a lot of short stories over the past few months. I can't get enough of them. My favorite thing about them is that, well, they are short. I love the idea of getting any sort of theme or message or even something interesting into such a small space. The author needs to be calculated with what he or she leaves in or out. I'm partial to Russian authors lately, so I've read some Chekov, Babel, Gogol... But I've also been reading Italo Calvino, Jorge Luis Borges... hmmm... mostly foreign. But that's probably okay. Anyway, to help me along my journey I got this book at the biggest and definitely one of the greatest bookstores I've ever been to--Powell's in downtown Portland. It was highly recommended. So far I like it, but even though she's stating the opposite, I still feel like I have to be born to write, or not at all. It doesn't really seem like a learned thing. And I enjoy writing, but it's not like I can't seem to stop myself or that it's all I can think about or anything. So I guess we'll see how it goes. Anyway, this book is called Bird By Bird by Anne Lamott. If you can't read the subtitle it says, "Some Instructions on Writing and Life". Sounds a little cheesy. No offense. We'll see how it goes.

Sewing

Sew... I don't want to mislead anyone into thinking that I've been crafty lately. I've been lazy. It's too hot to sew, and it's definitely WAY too hot to knit or crochet. But I've finally loaded some pictures of recentish projects onto my computer. I have aspirations for some upcoming projects, sew I feel that's good enough for now. We don't have real air-conditioning in my apartment, sew I'm going to wait a while...

Here is a picture of my adorable mom and the apron I made her for Mothers Day. She knew that I was making her an apron because I told her I wanted to make her an apron. But I don't think she knew how cute it was going to be. I mean, look at it.





















Here is an elephant that I made for my friend's baby. I tried to finish it before the baby shower, but of course I didn't get it done in time. And when it comes to giving gifts, I either have to give it to the recipient right away, or they probably won't get it for about a year. So now the elephant is done, but I keep forgetting to give it to my friend. I don't know what my problem is. I'm getting old. My mom told me not to use buttons for the eyes because the baby will choke on them and die and I really don't want to kill anyone's babies. But I used the tiniest buttons the store had for the tiny elephant eyes. I think these shouldn't kill any babies. I think they're small enough that the baby can easily swallow it if it comes down to it.

Where's Doug Fabrizio???

Does anyone know where he is? He's been gone for like 3 weeks!!! This is torture! I mean, no offense Jennifer Napier-Pierce or Jenny Brundine, But you are NOT D-fab. I wonder if we should worry about him? Maybe he's out of the country? I MISS HIM!!!

Blog Babies

I've been hearing a lot of this lately, "WHA???!!! You don't read my blog??? Every single day???" Wahhh, Wahhh. Cry me a river, babies. And I'm getting sick of it. So I just wanted to clear the air. And I'd really like to beat some of these people down (NOT an imminent threat). I'm REALLY sorry that I don't read everyone's blogs all the time. Really sorry. It doesn't mean that I don't value you as a person or think you're not funny and clever or that I don't think you have the cutest kids or that you aren't preparing to have the best wedding ever. It's not. Really. I enjoy reading blogs when I can. I like anonymously keeping up on what my friends are doing without actually having to talk to them, just like everybody else. But I just try to avoid the internet as much as possible in general. And if it makes you feel any better, I seldom check my own blog, as you can clearly see.

And please, don't come back at me with any passive aggressive remarks about how you're "Just going to stop reading my blog" or talk crap on me on your blog called "the daily uncool", cuz that just doesn't bother me. Well, the whining does get to me...

I feel flattered when people read my blog or comment on it. I think it's nice to know people care and want to read and comment. But if you choose not to read or comment, I won't be hurt or offended and I certainly will never say to you, "Remember on my blog when I said that really awesome thing?.... WHA??? You never read my blog every day???? But it's so FUNNY!!!" I guess that I place my self-worth in other things. I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't.

Let's make a deal, I'LL read your blog any chance I get, cuz honestly I think your blog is funny, interesting, I think you have the cutest kids, I think your wedding will be amazing, and I want to KIT; and YOU can read my blog whenever you feel like it and if you feel wounded because I'm not giving your blog enough TLC, well I support you in boycotting my blog. Deal?

So You Think You Can Dance vs. American Idol

I just want to rant for a moment. I'm addicted to SYTYCD. I have dancing dreams and I like to pretend that I have a secret life as a dancer. And some hidden talents.

I was thinking about how SYTYCD is like the AI of dancing. However, let me point some things out. 1) For the most part I HATE cover songs. There are a lot of exceptions, but it's typically when the musicians do something interesting or unique or cool with it. But when post-teens on AI sing cover songs, they typically do NOT do anything other than utterly destroy and bring shame to the original.
2) AI is BORING!!! Have you ever actually tried to sit and watch that show??? So painful.
3) The overall talent level on AI is much lower. A bunch of pubescents who have had way to much alone time with their karaoke machines, or rock band or whatever. You can't get on SYTYCD by merely playing too much dance dance revolution.
4) Another point on talent, SYTYCD actually has super awesome choreographers from various genres of dance and they work with the dancers and they come up with amazing & creative dances. Don't get me wrong, the dancers are amazingly talented, but combine them with these choreographers and it's actually impressive.

Minus points:
1) Mary--the wannabe Marie Osmond is probably the most obnoxious person on the earth and I think she knows that and is pleased and that makes me hate her even more.
2) I really hate that all of these America's choice shows think they can take up 2 nights of your week. Greedy. We have other things to do. And more importantly other tv shows to watch. I get that they need to count the votes of the American people, but seriously. It's ridic.
3) I get that it's partly the judges and partly the American people who get to determine who can dance and who can't. I get that. But it bugs me when they give the judges time right before the American people cast their votes to allow the judges to put in their 2 cents to try to sway the American people. I think we already heard enough of them throughout the show. This should be our time, as the American people, to have OUR voices heard. Not just regurgitation of judges' opinions.

Anyway, that's my thoughts. Surely more to come.

My Thoughts on Chocolate...

I have some important words to say about chocolate. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Well, I think about it a lot in general. Probably more than the average human. But more recently than normal.

I love chocolate. A lot. It's like you put this smooth, comforting little brown chunk of stuff in your mouth. And it makes out with you from inside your mouth. Sorry if that was too graphic. It really does make me feel happy. And it's gotten me through some rough times. I know there are people in this world who don't like chocolate. I'm not one of those people. And neither is Cathy. But I've been trying to explore some of the possible reasons why people might not like chocolate. Here are some that I've come up with.

1) You haven't ever had good chocolate. I mean GOOD chocolate. I don't claim to be any sort of chocolate snob or connoisseur. Not even at all. But all chocolate is NOT created equally. And there is a difference between good chocolate and crap. If all you've ever had is a hershey's bar, go do yourself a favor and go try something good.
2) You don't know how to eat chocolate. I personally cringe when I see someone take a big bite of a chocolate bar, chew it up quick, and swallow it. It's just not right. You have to let it soak on your tongue for a while to allow it to work it's magic. If you don't, you're missing the whole point and all the joy that comes.
3) You're immature. Maybe you're one of those people who, when your sweet tooth perks up, you go looking for some skittles, smarties, pixie stix, fun dip lick-a-maid, or whatever? Well, congratulations to you for being able to read this blog at only 7 years old! That's a big accomplishment!! Oh, and if you're over 7 and those candies sound good to you, maybe it's time to grow up?
4) You're not a real woman yet. This reason is pretty similar to the last reason. Being a real, natural woman, I know that I need chocolate. I know how important and useful it is. I'm not saying that it's just for women, but when you become a real woman, you'll know you're there because you'll know when you need chocolate. Not saying this doesn't happen to men too. But I just know from a real woman's perspective. And if you're a real man, you'll be capable of providing the woman in your life with the chocolate that she needs.
5) You have no libido. Maybe this is too harsh? And I don't actually have any evidence to prove this is true, but it's something to consider.
6) You like to punish yourself. You think it makes you a better person to deny yourself good and beautiful things in life. And maybe you're right.

I think I might have some more reasons, but this is where I'm starting.

Bikes? Yay!!!

I suppose the most reasonable follow-up to my moaning about ridic gas prices is to praise my bike. And bikes in general. What a brilliant invention. Lately anytime I'm going anywhere around town, I ride my bike. I love doing bike errands. I ride to the movies, to the markets, to the parties, and restaurants. AND I'm getting an awesome work out in the meantime. AND I have awesome conversations and encounters with people on the streets of Salt Lake. My favorite--a couple of days ago I was riding my bike down to the gateway to see a movie with mp & cf. I was waiting at a red stop light. A little hunched over old lady with long gray braids was shuffling across the street. She looked up at me and said in a thick accent, "Oh goodie, goodie! I was buy a new bicycle too!" and it was maybe the cutest thing that's ever happened to me. All I could do was smile and say, oh good! Also, last week I rode my bike to lil em's wedding at the SLC temple. For some reason riding my bike to someone's wedding was a thrilling experience. Unfortunately for me it was a breezy day and I was wearing a billowy dress, so I think I might have given some homeless dudes downtown a show. But I don't regret it. Maybe someday I'll figure a way to ride my bike to my own wedding. Bikes!!